Colorado Av Club Forums : Joke Forum

Joke Forum : http://www.coloradoavclub.com/forum/forum_topics.a

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 07:30:07 +0000

Author: dimitrisrblue
Subject: http://www.coloradoavclub.com/forum/forum_topics.a
Posted: 22 Dec 2009 at 7:30am

hallo everybody
Iam a newbie arround here

So the wellcome post is a joke i found

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, bigbaggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days beforeshe approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy thisTV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

via http://www.funny-city.com

Joke Forum : An awesome elephant story

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:34:52 +0000

Author: chadstr
Subject: An awesome elephant story
Posted: 22 Apr 2008 at 10:34pm

In 1986, Dan Harrison

was on holiday in Kenya after graduating

from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across

a young bull elephant standing with one leg

raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the

elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood

deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Dan worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the

elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Dan stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Dan never forgot that elephant or the eents of that day.

Twenty years later, Dan was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Dan and his son Dan Jr. were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Dan, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times.

Wondering if this was the same elephant,Dan summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and who stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Dan's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Edited by chadstr - 22 Apr 2008 at 10:43pm

Joke Forum : this is funny

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 05:47:35 +0000

Author: justjr
Subject: this is funny
Posted: 21 Nov 2007 at 5:47am

Joke Forum : this is funny

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:07:55 +0000

Author: beercrazy
Subject: this is funny
Posted: 20 Nov 2007 at 11:07pm

these two guys shouldnt sit next to each other...cant imagine why!!

Joke Forum : Stupid people

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:38:44 +0000

Author: justjr
Subject: Stupid people
Posted: 19 Nov 2007 at 5:38pm

Joke Forum : Stupid people

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:06:25 +0000

Author: chadstr
Subject: Stupid people
Posted: 19 Nov 2007 at 5:06pm

So true, I have experienced the half a dozen scenerio, people dont get its the same unless your in a bakery or a donut shop.

Joke Forum : The fight is on!

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:44:23 +0000

Author: justjr
Subject: The fight is on!
Posted: 18 Nov 2007 at 7:44am

Watch this!

http://www.ffk-wilkinson.com/

Edited by justjr - 18 Nov 2007 at 7:48am

Joke Forum : Stupid people

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 10:37:39 +0000

Author: avalanchuck
Subject: Stupid people
Posted: 30 Oct 2007 at 10:37am

As Carlos Mencia says... Dee Dee Dee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXF_WPJ18po

Joke Forum : Stupid people

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 21:13:05 +0000

Author: beercrazy
Subject: Stupid people
Posted: 28 Oct 2007 at 9:13pm

How do these people survive?

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you
could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken ! Mc Nuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at
the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or
twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I
can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six Mc
Nuggets.

TWO I was ! checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items
and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked
up
one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed
it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had
scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider," looking it all
over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code
she
said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed
my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid
her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she
was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door un locker. Now I can't get
into
my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm,
too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it
and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the
door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the
batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One
day
she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank
piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
"blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problem s with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
suspect
confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs
to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine,
the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush
him in to emergency!

"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

Joke Forum : Adventures in Wal-Mart

Fri, 18 May 2007 07:36:04 +0000

Author: justjr
Subject: Adventures in Wal-Mart
Posted: 18 May 2007 at 7:36am

Ever wonder what happens when you get separated from your husband in
Walmart?

The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Walmart
Store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER take her
husband shopping with her again!!!

January 12, 2006

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and
have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores
. We have documented all 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse
is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, Code
3 in house wares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And, last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile;
then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" Laughing